As you get closer to the privilege of being on the road, the words impaired driving are drilled into your mind. However so many seem to ignore what that may mean both for themselves and the rest of the population. To me, impaired driving means operating a vehicle while your mental or even physical capabilities are not fully present. That can come from substances like drugs or alcohol or even extreme fatigue, emotional instability or distractions. Despite this, many new drivers as well as experienced drivers believe “impairment” only is applicable to one who is under the influence of a substance.

     As technology advances, distracted driving, especially texting, has become one of the most common and deadly behaviors behind the wheel. Looking down or even having the phone covering your view site for just a moment while operating the vehicle steals focus from the road and the lives around you. It destroys reaction time, and the ability to make sound decisions. On the other hand alcohol impairment follows in second most common. It affects balance, coordination and the ability to judge speed and distance. Both decisions to participate in these actions turn a simple way of transportation into a death sentence.

     There is another kind of impairment too, one that lingers after the crash is dealt with. It hides in the letter S. This single letter is used 6.4% of the time in the English Language. The simple letter that is present in one hundred sixty four thousand and more words, lives in the quiet spaces of connection. It has the ability to refer to family plural and whole but for me the singular letter is the echo of something missing. I can not say "parents" instead I have learned to say parent. It is as simple as one letter yet reveals a point in my life that no spell check can fix even with these blue lines staring back at me on the paper.

     Thirteen years ago my father was lost in a car accident. It was sudden while he was across the country visiting his side of the family, yet Dustin Benson and Jared Matteucci did not care about that. Instead something irreversible and out of my control took place. With that taking place my whole family dynamic had changed as well. His side of the family prevented a newly widow alongside her two young children from seeing their father one last time, or even being part of his obituary. Instead they were sent a bag with bloody clothes and a message to never reach out to them again. Some had stayed in touch until the age seven was reached, but after that birthday never once were they heard from again. The people who were family by blood are total strangers by choice. Almost as if my family had died in the passenger seat of that car that night. 

     That one decision that Dustin and Jared decided to make has affected my life and turned it completely upside down. Growing up with that story it carved a deep, quiet fear inside me. Each and every time I step into a vehicle I ensure that the driver is emotionally stable, alert and physically capable. As well as all safety precautions are performed with precision. Most people who drive with me believe that I over react for no reason but once you have lived through the aftermath no matter how hard the day may be. You begin to quickly understand how fast everything can be changed. A flash of light, a single ring of a phone, a second of carelessness can all take away everything someone loves.  

     Some ways that I try to encourage attitude change about safe driving is to share with close friends what the emotional and legal impacts of impaired driving could result in. It is not done to gain sympathy. It is done to make the risk feel real to them, to show that tragedy does not only happen to strangers far far away. I also try to lead by setting myself up as a positive example to friends and my little brother. The driver should always be alert and focused and always have safe plans ahead of time if you will not be able to drive responsibly. These two steps set a powerful standard for those I love and care for.

     Of course in a perfect world people would listen, but not everyone listens to someone close to them. Some dismiss advice as nagging. That’s why trained instructors and educational programs are such a force to be reckoned with. They build responsibility through stories, interactive learning and proactive strategies. These courses show students that driving is not just a skill but it is a promise to others that you will protect your own life and the lives of everyone around you.

      Hopefully more people out there realize impaired driving is not just a term. It is the reason a child grows up saying parent instead of parents. It is the reason a family changes forever, why a mothers’ heart is torn from her chest. It is the reason I will always fight for safer roads so no one else has to carry the weight of a moment they had no control over or the weight of the what if’s so many hold onto when their person is taken from them too soon.