I’ve never met my dad’s parents. They died on my uncle’s high school graduation day while driving from one party to another. My dad was in college at the time but had come home for the celebration. He and his brother decided to stay back a little longer at one of the parties, so they weren’t in the car with my grandparents when the accident happened. I don’t know every detail, but I do know my grandpa had been on his cell phone. This was in 2002, long before smartphones, so it wasn’t anything like texting or scrolling.

We live in Illinois, and not every train crossing has guard gates or flashing lights. The crossing they went over did not have either. It was hidden behind brush and overgrowth, the kind of spot people in town knew about but still had to watch for. My grandpa was a good driver because he farmed and spent his life operating large equipment, but even skill could not save him when he crossed those tracks at the wrong second. An Amtrak train hit the car and killed both of my grandparents, and our family has carried that loss ever since.

There are so many ways someone can get distracted on the road. Phones, conversations, excitement, and even just a wandering thought can pull your attention away. People talk about impaired driving like it only means drinking, drugs, or texting, but distraction comes in many forms. It only takes one second of looking away for something irreversible to happen. Even when you think you know a road by heart, something can still surprise you. You have to stay alert every time you get behind the wheel.

Fatigue is another thing people almost never talk about. Everyone seems tired all the time, living off energy drinks and late nights. Teenagers especially think sleep is optional. In driver’s ed, I was honestly shocked by how many accidents are tied to fatigue. They showed us videos of all kinds of crashes, and when the train ones came on, I had to walk out because it was too much.

Every four years, a program comes to our school to show the reality of drunk driving. They use actual students, emergency vehicles, and a completely totaled car. Friends lie on stretchers. Police respond. They explain the aftermath, including the financial cost. Then we go to an assembly and hear from a parent who lost her child in a crash. They leave the wrecked car out front for days. It makes you think, but until you are in an accident yourself, you still assume it will not happen to you.

Senior sunrise this year was amazing. We watched the sun come up, and afterward my best friends and I decided to ride together to Target. One of my closest friends drove. It was only seven in the morning, and there was barely any traffic. I still don’t know what exactly happened, but a car hit us. The airbags went off, and suddenly I was in my first crash. Thankfully we were all okay, just a few seat belt marks, but it showed me how fast everything can change. My experiences and drivers education have shaped the kind of driver I am. 

One of the most useful things I learned in driver’s ed was about speeding. You really don’t save as much time as you think. On a fifteen mile trip with a 55 mph speed limit, going ten miles over only saves about two and a half minutes. I think about that every time I am tempted to hurry. It is one of the easiest choices I can control.

I also don’t drink or use drugs at all, which takes away a huge risk. When I drive, I plug in my phone so I can listen to music and turn it on Do Not Disturb. I try not to drive tired, although that is the distraction that sneaks up on me the most.

The first time I ever drove over an unmarked train track, I cried. I did not expect it, but suddenly everything I had grown up hearing about that day hit me at once. I still think of my grandparents every time I cross tracks. I will never be the person who tries to beat a train. I slow down, look both ways, and actually check. It is a small habit, but it keeps me connected to them and reminds me how quickly life can change. My grandparents passed many life lessons to me (through my dad) that go far beyond safe driving. However, it is undeniable that what happened to my grandparents guides how I drive today.